WE read about it in books, we hear it from motivational gurus, the exhortation — “Don’t moan about what you don’t have; use what you have.” In the same vein we are urged not to use the words ‘handicapped’ or ‘disabled’ in reference to people with disabilities. In fact, Khalid Malik, the United Nations resident coordinator in China, in a speech during the2008 Beijing Paralympics came out with this gem: “there are no people with disabilities, but people with different abilities”.
Mark Hunter
The tales of people who are physically challenged or people with different abilities (to use the politically correct term) achieving success in spite of their handicaps are indeed inspiring. Naturally, it is even more inspiring to meet them in person. I have the good fortune of meeting one such special person and he also has achieved world fame to boot.
Ten years ago I was in the city of Los Angeles taking part in the world championship of public speaking. At the preliminary round (this is where they select nine finalists for the event), I ran into a remarkable character. During the sound test in the afternoon I noticed that the hotel staff were fixing a ramp to the stage. I had a premonition that the challenge for us, the able bodied contestants, was going to be rather stiff. It was confirmed when this jovial man in a wheelchair appeared in the line-up.
“Great,” we all muttered under our breaths, “now he is going to get all the sympathy votes”. When he spoke I realised that he would have beaten us fair and square, wheelchair or no wheelchair. His name is Mark Hunter. He is a motivational speaker and he is a motivation himself. He was not born with disabilities but by a twist of fate had disability thrust unto him. At the age of 22, at the peak of his physical prowess (he was an active sportsman), he had an accident while water skiing which left him paralysed from the waist down and has since been wheelchair bound. His life is a demonstration of the resilience of the human spirit, that with the right attitude we can face up to the stiffest challenge that life can throw at us.
When I got to know him, I discovered that Mark is more than just someone who has rode the storm of tragedy to live a full and fruitful life. Pulling himself up from that low point in his life, Mark moved on to become a school teacher and was a school principal for 32 years. He now owns a business as a life and executive coach and trainer. He trains organisational leaders in the science of coaching for performance development.
In 2009, he won the title World Champion of Public Speaking. (No, he did not win in 2001 though he got into the final.) More than just having lived a motivational life, Mark believes that we should not be just driven by self-righteousness to advocate for what we think to be a just cause. It is enough if we are driven by love. I share below the winning speech of Mark Hunter with the somewhat cryptic title ‘Sink Full of Green Tomatoes’.
“Literature is literally littered with lively legends. Amongst them rides Don Quixote – the Man of La Mancha, an idealistic knight who fought for the rights of others and dared to dream the impossible dream.
“Mr Chairman, ladies and gentlemen, while I dare not sing that song for fear it could be your nightmare, I like many of us here have dreamed impossible dreams. But to make one of my dreams even remotely reachable, I had to learn an extraordinary lesson, perhaps a lesson for us all.
“At the age of 22, an accident changed my view of the world completely. Before the accident, I saw the world from an invincible six feet high, now I see it from the height of the consummate navel gazer.
“In my new position, short and seated and recycled, I soon faced discrimination in work and life, so I became a modern day Don Quixote fighting for the rights of those with a disability. Many, many times, I would don the armour of righteousness; mount my trusty grey horse — Eeeha! Raise my lance, and charge into hell for my heavenly cause, dreaming of a world where discrimination no longer existed.
“But at other times, I would retreat, exhausted and just want to be invisible. For many years as I championed this cause, I faced this problem: “Do I want to fit in, or do I want to stand up, stand out and stand fast for who and what I am; do I want to be same or different?
“I became consumed by this dilemma and desperate for an answer. I turned to books, coaches, meditation, you name it – I did it, I even searched in the bottom of a few bottles of scotch – I eventually found my answer where many of our life’s most important questions are answered.
“My grandmother’s kitchen was filled with the aroma of freshly cooked bread, and the quiet rhythmic chopping of vegetables was the only sound to be heard. On the bench, gleaming upturned jars were begging to be filled with her world famous tomato relish – well I thought it was world famous – though my grandfather, Poppy, always said it could be used as paint stripper. I too would laugh at his mischief. Nana, in all her wisdom and with all her love, would merely smile.
“A splash was followed by her silent invitation to look in the water filled sink. A wildly bright red apple had accidentally tumbled in, and was bobbing amongst a dozen green tomatoes. Nana said, ‘Mark, look in the sink. What do you want to be?’ I looked at my choice – to be the one apple or one of many tomatoes — and I remembered thinking …
“Who looks at fruit and veggies and becomes philosophical?’ So how did I answer grandmother?
“As I watched her, I finally understood her wisdom. ‘Nana,’ I said. She stopped, turned, and waited. ‘Nana, I want to be the water.’
“She turned back to her work, and I am sure I heard her smile.
“She knew I had found my answer. That you can’t change the world by charging around like an idealistic knight. You change it from here, by being the water. You see water embraces everything completely. It does not differentiate young from old, black from white, tall from navel gazer. It simply encompasses all.
“And what is this water if is not a unique definition of love. A definition reflected in Deepak Chopra’s work, where he writes ‘for love to be real it has to flow out and around that which is loved’. This water is liquid love. When I am the water, no, when we are the water, the need to fight the good fight no longer exists. The need to work out whether we are the same or different no longer exists. When we love with the intimacy of water, difference doesn’t exist.
“It’s what this liquid love does. What happened in that kitchen allowed me to replace the passion of youth with the wisdom of my grandmother and so with my new understanding I began to change my world from in here.
“Ladies and gentlemen: in an ordinary kitchen, I learnt an extraordinary lesson. One which enabled me to take off my armour and get off this horse – not literally. I learnt from my grandmother that it doesn’t matter how we are different. It’s how we love that matters. So this morning, I offer you her wisdom. In a sink full of green tomatoes and one wildly red apple, there is so much, so very much to be gained from being the water.”
For those of us in Kuching, Sunday, May 22 is our lucky day. At 7.30pm, Mark Hunter, World Champion, motivational speaker and a motivation himself will be giving a free seminar at Crown Square, level 3. All are welcome.
Comments can reach the writer via [email protected].