KOTA KINABALU: A local lawyer and activist has taken Kuala Lumpur-based Obedient Wives Club (OWC) to task for likening marital sex as ‘first class prostitution’ as it is very degrading to both women and men.
“It is unfortunate that the approach by OWC is to direct the focus of marriage on sex.
“This creates a very negative self-image for both women and men because it assumes that the only way to keep the marriage is to sexualise it and ignore the other important components of a marital partnership such as common goals and hobbies, communication and personal development, respect and love and joint responsibility in child rearing,” said Nilakrisna James.
She was commenting on the recent statement by OWC, providing sex lessons to help wives ‘serve their husbands better than a first-class prostitute’ to help promote harmonious marriages and counter social ills.
Nila reckons that developing a positive self-image and sexual confidence is important for women but this has nothing to do with keeping a man loyal.
She said women should automatically do this for themselves for their own mental and physical well-being and realise that being obedient has nothing to do with being submissive and lascivious in marital sex to the point where they cannot say no.
Nila who is also very active in child and women’s rights movement, stressed women should have the right to say no to sex and not feel pressured by the idea that their husbands would leave them if they do not perform like a whore.
She pointed out women should have sex on their own terms.
“Every couple in a relationship defines their own personal sexual needs and where one man might find a wanton hussy interesting, another might find it totally filthy and unattractive.
“Therefore, women should not delude themselves into thinking that there is a set formula to what turns a man on in bed,” she said.
However, Nila told The Borneo Post that she would give the OWC credit for sensationalizing and opening up the Malaysian people to a debate about sex and if we can openly discuss these matters without shame and embarrassment, then there is hope yet for an open civil society in this country.
“Women, above all else, should be responsible for developing a nation that could learn to respect women the way they are without always sexualising them and demeaning their status,” Nila added.