HOW we perceive ourselves, how we represent ourselves and how we talk about ourselves will eventually become a reality. If we think too poorly of ourselves, it is no longer humility but an act of self-deprecation.
In order to develop a positive self-esteem, it is necessary to avoid all negativity that will pull us down and cause us to lose confidence in ourselves.
Negative Attitudes
We are bound to meet all kinds of people in our daily lives. Some of them may not be as pleasant as we wish. They may be extremely negative and constantly gossiping, bad-mouthing, nagging, dampening spirits, being patronising, spiteful, controlling, condescending, backstabbing, criticising, whining, complaining and nosey.
When we have to deal with such individuals, we would likely be affected by them in a negative way and our self-esteem would suffer greatly as well. We need to learn not to take in their negative energy nor be influenced by them.
If possible, avoid spending too much time with these individuals. Instead we should try to spend more time with those who are positive, assuring and encouraging — those who will help us to stay positive and improve ourselves.
Negative Views
It is easy to feel disheartened and discouraged when we choose to look at only the bad things in life. There are always pros and cons in every situation or circumstance. If we dwell too much on the negative side of things, we are sure to head towards doom.
We should acknowledge and reflect more on the constructive things in life. When we fill our minds with positive thoughts, we will surely feel good about the world around us and in turn, we will feel confident and encouraged.
Unconstructive Work Environment
An unhealthy work environment is very draining and destructive for any individual. Imagine going to work every day only to face office politics; backbiting; biased and prejudiced practices; overwhelming workload; ruthless competition; unappreciative colleagues; and no spirit of teamwork.
Not only does this not help in building up self-esteem, it can ruin our positive outlook about work and our abilities. It is best to stay away from this kind of work environment so that our self-esteem would not be damaged.
Negative Inherited Traits
If some of our family members have certain negative traits, it does not mean that we have also inherited them. We are a mixture of our inherited traits, upbringing, present environment and our perspectives of the future.
Hence, we are not tied down by the negative characteristics that run in the family. So we should not dwell on our unconstructive ‘inheritance’ nor allow such traits to damage our self-esteem. We have the ability to disassociate ourselves from those negative traits as long as we have the determination to overcome them.
Welcome Changes
Some individuals do not welcome change and lose confidence when they have to face different situations or people. Change challenges us and tests our adaptability and flexibility to face uncertainties in life.
When change comes into our lives, we may experience difficulties and stress. However, if we are able to have a positive outlook and take on the challenges in a constructive manner, we will find that they lead to self- improvement. We will come out stronger and better when we are able to embrace change and grow.
Positive Way Of Living
Building self-esteem is a lifelong process that will ultimately lead to self- improvement. It requires us to be responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do.
Hence, it is our responsibility to make sure that we do not entertain nor live with negative elements. A positive way of living is the sure way to help build up self-esteem.
Priscilla Hiu is a career guidance consultant of Gracia Management and a certified behavioural consultant of DISC Personality Profiling System, Institution of Motivation Living, USA and Extended DISC Personality Profiling System, Extended DISC Northgate.