Perfume may seem like the ideal gift but is it?
THE season for giving is not too far away and the tunes of Christmas carols being played in the shopping malls and loved ones dropping subtle hints as to what they expect for Christmas will remind us to start looking out for presents, and where possible, the best deals available.
Back in the day, people used to observe the dos and don’ts of gift giving, especially in a culture as diverse as ours.
For example, for the Chinese, it is taboo to present someone with a clock or a watch, because to give a clock or a watch in Chinese is said to be ‘giving time’. Symbolically it means that the person receiving the gift is counting down his lifespan.
Over the years, people around the world from other cultures also seem to have adopted this taboo and interpreted it to mean that giving a person ‘time’ symbolises that they have limited time to spend together.
Giving an empty wallet or anything that is meant to hold money was also seen as presenting someone with bad luck. Symbolically, it means that the person’s wallet will always be empty and he or she will never come across good fortune financially.
If someone expects a nice new wallet from you, the correct ‘protocol’ of gifting a wallet would be to put some money in it. It doesn’t have to be much – one ringgit or a few sen. This apparently, based on the taboo, is taken to mean that you wish the person well financially.
There is also a generally accepted taboo throughout the world about giving shoes. Give someone a new pair of shoes, and you are to expect that person to walk away from you, or out of your life forever. Similarly with giving someone a suitcase, which is taken to mean that the recipient will pack up and leave you.
Perfumes are generally the easiest gift to present someone with. For most of us, running out of ideas for gifts usually means heading for the perfume section in the stores to pick out our loved ones’ favourite scent. Seems like a safe gift to give right? Not exactly.
In some cultures, giving perfume to the ancient Chinese and Greeks, means drawing in bad luck and causing relationship breakups. It is said that the perfume will attract an outside party, which causes the breakup in relationships.
In the modern world, giving perfume can be seen as an insult. It can be taken to mean that the giver is saying the recipient has a problem with body odour, or has a stinky attitude.
In Venezuela, giving handkerchiefs can cause fights between the giver and recipient. In other cultures giving handkerchiefs symbolises sadness, simply because handkerchiefs are usually used in times of mourning to wipe away tears.
Surprisingly, another very common gift also has a taboo associated with it. Around the world, giving a single red rose is seen as the ultimate romantic gesture, especially if it is given by a man to a woman. In Italy however, there is an old belief that giving a single rose of any colour means death. Even worse would be to give a single stalk of a rose that is thorny.
The taboo surrounding the gifting of sharp objects is another cultural no-no. Sharp objects like knives, swords and daggers symbolise the severance of relationships. Sharp objects are also seen as a symbol of hatred and war, hence should be avoided.
With all these taboos, it is also equally important for the recipient to know how to reciprocate should they receive any one of these items.
The generally accepted response (yes, generally accepted worldwide), is to ‘pay’ the giver symbolically. For example, if you receive a set of kitchen knives because you are known to be an exceptional cook, then it is only right to reciprocate by giving the giver something in return.
Usually a ‘payment’ in the form of a coin (even as little as a one cent coin) will suffice to ward of the bad luck associated with it. This way, it is made to seem that you actually ‘purchased’ the item for yourself.
Today, most of these taboos have been forgotten. Lifestyle magazines feature some of these items as potential gifts during the Christmas season.
We have no qualms about giving watches, empty wallets and a nice shiny set of expensive kitchen knives to our loved ones and close friends, without fearing bad luck or unwanted repercussions.
Take it how you want, to some, these myths are laughable. But being in a culturally diverse region, it is simple courtesy to take note of taboos so that we do not offend anyone, especially the older generation, when it comes to gift giving during festive seasons and special occasions.
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