KOTA KINABALU: Had it not been for the support from his wife, visually impaired teacher, Jailani Idris, would have given up in the first year of his doctorate degree studies six years ago.
During the recent convocation ceremony in University Malaysia Sabah (UMS) here, tears flowed from Jailani’s eyes as he received his Curriculum and Education doctorate scroll on stage.
The 41-year-old’s vision was blurred, not just because of the tears in his eyes, but also because of a genetic retinal degeneration condition, Retinis Pigmentosa (RP), that has slowly been claiming his vision since childhood.
“My siblings also suffer from this condition. Two of them, who are in their 50s, are already blind,” said the SMK Gadong teacher from Beaufort after the 2014 UMS post-graduate award ceremony here yesterday.
“I hope I can retain my sight a little but longer. Right now, everything is a blur to me and most of my books have been blown up and have been copied on an A3 size paper so I could read from it,” he added.
He could barely see his wife and his three remaining children who were in the audience beaming with pride at his accomplishment on that day.
Still, his eye condition was not the main reason why he had almost quit. On his mind was his only daughter, whom he had lost at the age of five, two weeks before his convocation day.
“I have been blessed with the birth of two special children. My only girl, the third child who had recently passed, and my son, the fourth and last boy in the family,” said Jailani, who tried his best to put on a brave front.
Both of his children suffer from Hydrocephalus, which is a build-up of fluid deep within the brain. The condition, which is common among infants, could cause brain damage and deforms the physical appearance of the head.
“It is not easy to juggle between taking care of my late daughter while pursuing a PhD,” said Jailani, who added that both of his two children, born while he was undergoing his doctorate, needed full attention and care as they could not fend for themselves because of their condition.
Jailani was very thankful for the understanding and help that he received from his fellow students and the staff of UMS.
“If it were not for their help, my family and, especially, from my wife, who has given her all to help me, I could not have done it.
“My wife and I both took our masters together in 2008 at University Putra Malaysia in West Malaysia. We were one of the many married couples who went on stage to receive our scrolls during that time,” said the teacher, who added that his wife opted not to pursue her PhD in order to care for their disabled children.
“When we first knew of our daughter’s condition I hesitated in continuing with my studies.
“The amount of time you will visit the hospital with the full attention that you must give to care for your child made me feel like I should quit but my wife told me not to use it as an excuse to not pursue the doctorate,” shared Jailani.
“I also thought, what if one day my daughter was able to speak and said to me why did bapa (dad) use me as an excuse. That kept me going until she took her last breath two weeks ago,” he reflected.
“People ask me where I would go after acquiring my PhD but it is hard for me to say because I really am not sure right now. I decided to pursue it not for anyone else but for my own personal satisfaction.
“Mainly, I wanted to show my children that they should work hard in achieving what they want no matter what,” said Jailani, who received the Aspirational Post-graduate Award at the ceremony.
After a moment of introspect he said, “This was my experience. It was a very painful ordeal for me to go through.
“Last year, besides being busy with trying to complete my thesis, my child was admitted into the Sabah Women and Children’s Hospital (HWKKS).
“Whilst busy doing my viva voce presentation, I had to go in and out of the hospital because my child was sick. Most of my work was done in the hospital’s canteen,” said Jailani, who also stated that he had to go to Kuala Lumpur with his whole family because his child had to undergo surgery there.
“My experience whilst studying in this university has not been easy. I might consider writing a book to share my journey through it,” he added.
Besides Jailani, another doctorate degree recipient, 43-year-old Raymond Alfred, also had his own story of what motivated him to pursue his second PhD.
The absence of in-depth studies on Sabah’s Borneo or pygmy elephant was the driving force in his pursuit.
“It took me about seven years to complete the research on conservation ecology of Borneon elephants, which consist of population and feeding behaviour.
“I have always been fond of exploring and nature. So it was easy for me to pursue my doctorate and for me to complete the thesis. What I am doing is for the benefit of the next generation. If not for our own people, who else should?” said the Sabah Wildlife Department project manager.
Raymond received the Best Thesis in Science Category Award (PhD). He would be launching a book based on the thesis in the near future.
Besides that, he was also the recipient of the UMS Tun Zaki Award.
It wasn’t hard for Raymond to be a high-achiever since childhood. He and his twin brother took turns taking the first place in the examinations in class from primary till secondary school, he said.
They were only separated after that, when Raymond received a scholarship to study in United Kingdom whilst his brother grabbed the opportunity to study in the United States.
“Being a twin is so much different, you have a kind of support that no one but other twins could understand,” said Raymond.
Raymond is also an Asian Elephant Specialist for the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) and the executive secretary of the Borneo Conservation Trust.