HERE are some sticky situations. A jilted girlfriend grabs a broomstick and beats her former lover. An overly-jealous husband uses threats of legal recourse and other harmful action because he doesn’t approve of his wife’s social circle. A girl picks on another one resulting in a cat-fight – pulling hair, scratching and biting – merely over a misunderstanding.
With all these scenarios, attempts to talk and reason with the aggressor showed there was little that could be done to prevent them from releasing their anger and frustrations on others.
We deal with aggressive people every single day where we potentially face harm or some form of discomfort. There are times we do not even realise that we are dealing with aggressors, because they do not threaten us with physical harm, using only verbal insults intended to hurt us.
In psychology and behavioural sciences, aggression is described as behaviour, either verbal or physical, that is intended to cause harm or pain. Such behaviour is still considered aggression even if it does not result in the harm or pain it intended. Sometimes we mistake assertiveness for aggression. The experts say this is not the same. Those aggressive are actually motivated to hurt another person. Even up till this day and age, behavioural science finds aggression a perplexing phenomenon.
Questions the experts try to answer revolve around social contexts and biology itself.
Why are people motivated to hurt others? Does such violence help them to survive? Does it provide them with some form of gratification?
While experts seek answers to these questions, those in clinical facilities have found that emotions originate from the brain and two areas here – the amygdala and the hypothalamus (for those of us who remember our biology) directly regulate or affect aggression.
The amygdala, it seems, causes aggression while the hypothalamus serves to regulate aggression.
This is where it gets too technical and people in general tend to try to find answers that they can easily understand.
For example, many lean towards the possibility that one’s upbringing can encourage aggression. That it is a learned behaviour. Studies have shown that children brought up by parents or family members who are aggressors will have the tendency to have some traits of aggressive behaviour themselves.
This is because they learn in their little social context that it is supposedly ‘okay’ to be this way. And they in turn teach their children to behave or react to situations with anger and threats.
Another school of thought sees aggression as an innate behaviour where everyone is born with an aggressive instinct. However, not everyone is able to focus or find positive outlets, such as sports, for the feelings.
Research also shows that suppressed or underlying feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem encourage aggressive behaviour. Hence you have bullies who are widely known to be people who are really struggling with themselves.
There are several types of aggressive behaviour and these range from shouting, swearing, name calling, racial slurs, verbal threats, physical or threatening gestures, different forms of harassment, right down to emotional abuse.
In this day and age, threats and abusive postings made via social media, text messages and other online forums are also considered as aggression.
And so a summary of what research and studies have shown us so far about aggression. This piece actually stemmed from witnessing an act of aggression earlier in the week. One of which was mentioned in the opening paragraph.
Truth be told, it is difficult to handle an aggressor, especially in dealing with overly-emotional and dramatic individuals.
The key point to remember in dealing with aggressors is that one should never respond to aggression with aggressive behaviour as it will only serve to aggravate the situation, or even encourage the aggressor to act out. Aggressors tend to keep on with their behaviour when previous aggressive actions have resulted in results that gratified them.
Because of this, they believe that aggression is the only way to go in achieving what they want – be it getting something out of someone, hurting someone or making another person feel bad.
Most aggressors want people to react to them in a similar way, because reasoning is beyond their comprehension and an equally aggressive response will only serve to encourage their behaviour.
In addition, an aggressive reaction can also be used by an aggressor against those dealing with them. Aggressors typically get gratification by having the upper hand. Any reaction, which could potentially harm them, could be used against those trying to deal with them.
Essentially, keeping a calm tone and calm body language, as well not rewarding the aggressor with what he or she expects is how we deal with them.
In most cases, it is advisable to avoid confrontation at all costs, walk away or find a way to get out of such situations.
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