The prime determinant

0

Last week, I was introduced to a gentleman who goes by the name of Master Chen. He described himself as a feng shui master, a term that normally causes me to raise my cloak of scepticism. As it turned out, Master Chen is not one of those who believes that we can change our fortune by merely wearing certain types of jewellery or hanging mirrors in some corners of our house. We had a very interesting conversation and he left me a gem about life.

WHAT’S YOUR PERSPECTIVE?: Will you find Borobudur decidedly frustrating or profoundly uplifting?

“There are three determinants that influence our lives – heaven, earth and the person,” he said sagely.

By ‘heaven’, he meant the ‘gift from heaven’, in other words, God-given talent. ‘Earth’ is the environment we are born into. Finally, ‘the person’ refers to the individual’s attitude.

“Of the three determinants, the prime is the person,” he concluded.

He really got me thinking and I cannot get his words out of my mind. So, here is this week’s offering.

A few years ago, I was on holiday in Jogjakarta, Indonesia. Of course I did not miss the opportunity to visit Borobudur, that magnificent ninth century Buddhist monument, a Unesco World Heritage Site. It is testimony of the spiritualism of Buddhism and at the same time one of the greatest artistic creations.

This is an impressive construction of stones built in nine levels with carvings and motifs depicting the life of Buddha. Visitors can climb the steps of this nine-tiered edifice and feel the sense of exhilaration of the view at the summit. For believers, this climb is a deeply spiritual experience, as they slowly wind up the nine-tiered terraces, they trace the journey of Buddha in his ascent from the material world to enlightenment.

As our party climbed the rising stone terraces, we could not help but feel awed by the symbolism of transcending from the mundane to the sublime. Suddenly, the mood of serenity was rudely shattered by a loud whining from one of our group. “Aw, it’s so hot up here. What are we doing here? Have we come all the way just to climb this pile of stones?”

Later when we got back to our hotel, I went browsing in the hotel bookshop and chanced upon a book with these words on the back cover: “Some moments in life make one feel as if there were no longer any distance between Heaven and Earth, and in the creative blending into the whole, the sense of life is being revealed. Such an emotion is experienced when one ascends the stairs of Borobudur, Buddhist marvel of stone …”

In the book, the author went on to describe how touched he was by the visit and how it changed his whole life. So there we had two individuals, chancing on the same experience — for one it was decidedly frustrating, while for the other profoundly uplifting.

It was a question of attitude — the way we mentally look at the world around us and which in turn affects our reaction and response to events and experiences. Our attitude has significant influence (some say total influence) on our future. That is why motivational gurus of all shades always urge us to develop a positive attitude, to focus on the positive aspects of any situation.

The converse is to dwell on the negative side of things, which has the effect of pulling us down the slippery slope of self-pity and ultimately, failure. Every so often life throws ‘a spanner in the works’ and puts us in a tricky position. Our attitude determines how we handle the situation.

Many people are under the illusion that our attitude is a habit, which predisposes us to behave in a particular way. But really it is a choice rather than a habit. We can choose to take a negative or positive outlook; we can choose to dwell on the dark cloud or on the silver lining.

To have a positive attitude is not putting one’s head in the sand, nor is it being unrealistic. It is about acknowledging the negative aspects of a situation, but choosing instead to focus on the hope and opportunity available within every situation.

Some years ago, I attended a seminar by a famous speaker, Zig Ziglar, where he shared an experience he had at an airport. As he checked-in at the counter, he was told by a very apologetic member of the airline staff that his plane was delayed.

“That’s okay,” said Ziglar.

The counter lady was taken aback, for she was bracing for an angry tirade, of which she had aplenty from some of the other passengers.

“You mean you are not angry?”

“What’s there to be angry about? They must have a good reason for the delay. Assuming they are worried that there may be some technical problems with the plane then I am glad that they are taking care to do a thorough check.”

“But the plane would not leave until 5 o’clock, which is four hours from now.”

“So, that will give me a good few hours to finish reading this very interesting book and I can spot a very nice cafe down the hall where I can sit in comfort.”

Zig Ziglar said that he could have made the bad situation worse by having a bad attitude and reacting petulantly. Indeed, he could have ranted and shouted at the poor lady, and raised his own blood pressure in the process, but the plane would still be delayed. As it was, he managed to calm himself down, making the best of a not-too-good situation and enjoyed a few hours relaxing and reading.

Attitude is infectious. Have you ever wondered how some people seem to be always surrounded by inconsiderate and uncaring people, while others have the good fortune of mixing with pleasant people all the time?

Awhile ago, I read of this story that I think illustrates the point. On the edge of a town lived an old man. His house was right at the entrance to the town, so everyone who came into the town would encounter him first. One day a stranger came to town and spied upon the old man and so he asked: “Tell me, sir, what kind of people live in this town?”

And the old man retorted, “What kind of people live in your own town?”

“Well, they are a nasty lot, uncaring and selfish.”

“Then that is the kind of people you will find in this town.”

Sometime later another visitor came by and asked the same question. “What kind of people live in the town?”

Again the old man replied, “What kind of people live in your own town?”

“Oh, they are very good people, always ever willing to help each other.”

“It is the same with this town,” said the old man, “they are all very nice.”

Meanwhile, a little boy who was sitting nearby overheard everything and he said to the old man, “Sir, you are being very untruthful. To the first stranger you said the people in this town are nasty, now you are saying they are all very nice.”

“Well, my boy, the world is like a mirror. What image you give it, the same image will be given back to you.”

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931), the inspirational Lebanese poet and artist said, “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”

A positive attitude helps us to cope more easily (and successfully) with life’s challenges. It brings optimism, hope and brightness into our world. It is certainly a state of mind that we must develop and strengthen. As the saying goes, “It is your attitude that determines the altitude of your life”.

The writer can be contacted at [email protected].