A FRIEND commented that there has been too much ‘heavy’ stuff in the opinion columns. No wonder, what with all the goings-on in our nation. With the national elections looming, I believe there will be more ‘heavy’ stuff coming our way. So before we get too punch-drunk, let’s dwell this week on some lighter pickings. So here’s something light and in the air.
UNNECERARILY CHARGES: In Malaysia, we are virtually under the dictate of a low cost (and monopolistic) outfit.
The seat was comfortable and soft. Heck, it could even recline to give a good position for a snooze. There was a fair range of movies to choose from. Meals came at regular intervals and drinks at my beck and call. I was watching a zany comedy cartoon called ‘Rango’. Hmm, I thought, all I need was a bag of popcorn. I managed to get the attention of the petite and lissome attendant.
“Excuse me, do you have any popcorn?”
“I am sorry sir, we don’t. But would peanuts do?”
Wow, my favourite! I was as happy as a little boy in a sandpit, munching away, watching the computer-animated chameleon, Rango and his escapades, with Johnny Depp’s voice ringing in my ears. (‘Rango’ is a 2011 critically acclaimed computer-animated Western comedy film. It features the voices of many well-known actors, among them Johnny Depp. He of the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ fame).
I guess by now you may have guessed where I was. I was on a long-haul flight across the Pacific – a full 13 hours of not having to do anything except watch movies, read a book, eat, drink and drift off to sleep. The stewards and stewardesses were great, with a press of a button they would come inquiring what was my need – “water, orange juice, soft drink?” And, ahem, they were pleasant on the eye as well.
Thus it was a surprise to me that a friend said that he hated these long flights. “It is so boring and tiring,” he complained. I guess he can be forgiven, being young he has not had his share of the ‘bad’ old days. I remember when I first went to London. It was yonks ago. That was when Malaysia Airlines (MAS) was not even a figment of someone’s imagination. There was only one airline that ruled the sky then – Qantas, the flag carrier of Australia. We started off in Singapore and stopped at virtually every capital on the way to London. We loved it. The two students from Penang travelling with me were absolutely over the moon. They wrote enthusiastically home saying how we got to visit at least seven countries. Of course, they did not highlight the fact that we merely stepped in and out of the airport transit lounges. Still, we got to breathe the air of Bangkok, Delhi, Karachi, a place in the Middle East, Athens, Frankfurt, Amsterdam. It was a case of taking off and landing. By the time we arrived in London we lost count of the number of hours, and what with the time difference, we totally lost track of the day of the week.
Before every transit stop, the crew would hand us a piece of paper with multiple choice for drinks. We had tick one – tea, coffee, Milo, orange juice, soft drink, etc. We had fun pondering over our choices and decided to try different drinks for different stops. It worked well except for Karachi. We arrived there at the dead of the night. We handed the papers with our choices. Penang One chose tea, Penang Two coffee and I went for soft drink. The sleepy attendant took our various choices, nonchalantly threw them into the wastepaper basket and handed us a plastic cup of insipid drink, which he had prepared by the trayful.
Athens was great. They even served us some Greek snacks, among them the famous dolmades. This signature Greek-Cypriot delicacy comprises chopped vegetables wrapped in succulent vine leaf. Being from Malaysia where any food wrapped has to be unwrapped (think of the Chinese rice dumpling zongzi and the Malay pulut panggang) we proceeded to open up the vine leaves to get at the morsels inside, much to the horror and amusement of the Greek waiters. We were indeed innocents, happy innocents, abroad.
Of course neither had my fussy friend experienced the service of the notorious Aeroflot airline of the 70s. As poor students we had to source for the cheapest flight from London to Malaysia. Aeroflot was just that airline. But as the saying goes, ‘if you pay peanuts you’ll get monkeys’. Except that the stewardesses of the airline were certainly not small but six-foot plus muscular Amazons. I am not sure if the term ‘service’ was in their vocabulary. They didn’t speak much. They communicated with grunts and nods of the head. I made the mistake of asking one for a glass of water.
“Vataar?” said the female Arnold Schwarzenegger, as if surprised at my temerity to ask her to do something. She gave a grunt and indicated with a nod of the head the direction of a water fountain by the toilet.
I was told that these were not professional air stewardesses but personnel seconded from the army. As to why that was so, it is a long story. Anyway I understand that things have changed drastically since the end of the cold war. This airline now can compete with the best for the their service. Their air-hostesses may still be rather tall but they are more of the Maria Sharapova variety. In case you have been hiding under a rock, Maria Sharapova is just about the hottest female tennis player, physically and tennis skill-wise, and she can grunt as well.
In Malaysia, we are virtually under the dictate of a low cost (and monopolistic) outfit. They are especially sticky about the size and weight of hand luggage. They place personnel at the entrance to the departure lounge, scrutinising all hand luggage for size and weighing the suspected ones. I have seen a passenger with a kilogramme over the 7kg limit being denied entrance. The poor guy hand to fork out RM50 to have his bag checked in. I suppose after enticing us to fly on the promise of low price, they have to devise ways to claw back the potential earnings.
While in the States, I got to travel around a bit by air. It was interesting and revealing. Firstly there are a number of cheap airlines to choose from. Competition certainly brings benefits for the passengers. There, the treatment is very different. If the staff spot bags that are too big, or if the all the overhead cabins are full they will politely tell the passengers to leave their carry-ons by the door. They will stow them for the passengers. On arrival one can find one’s luggage placed neatly outside the aircraft door. Hurrah for competition!
Well so much for now. By next week we will be in the midst of the fasting month and it will be time for more reflective thoughts.
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