Parents of Singapore victims plan to return to Mount Kinabalu

1

SINGAPORE: The parents of some of the Singapore victims who died on Mount Kinabalu following the earthquake in Ranau, Sabah last month are planninto return to the highest peak in South East Asia.

Jaidipsinh Jhala was reported to have said he wanted to climb the mountain on June 5 next year, on the first anniversary of his daughter Sonia’s death.

“It’s to finish what she could not finish, to honour her,” the 48-year-old told the Straits Times.

His wife Karen added: “Some of the mothers said they might just go to the base, the fathers can climb. We can probably leave flowers, maybe at the site, perhaps even say prayers.”

The couple wrote in their daughter’s obituary that their little girl, Sonia, “found the stairway to heaven”.

On June 5, 2015, the 12-year-old Sonia and six of her friends from Tanjong Katong Primary School (TKPS) in Singapore were climbing Mount Kinabalu when a 5.9-magnitude quake struck, killing them.

Two of their teachers and a Singaporean adventure guide accompanying them were also killed.

Twenty-two pupils, six teachers and two Singapore guides who were also on the school expedition survived.

The Straits Times reported that parents of some of the survivors also want to make their way back to the mountain next year.

Tristan Wing, 12, who suffered bruises on his back, still has flashbacks of the incident. But his father Alec Wing, who works in the technology sector, said he would let Tristan attempt the ascent again, and even go with him.

Another survivor, Emyr Uzayr, 12, who suffered a fractured skull and was airlifted back to Singapore, wants to reach the summit this time, said his father Sadri Farick, 37.

“It’s a beautiful place. My kid and some of his friends want to do it for their friends who passed away,” said Sadri, who runs a home decor company.

Climbing Mount Kinabalu was to be the high point of their primary school years for the TKPS pupils.

They had worked hard to be selected for the trip, which was part of what was termed the Omega Challenge programme for student and sports leaders, and trained for months to prepare themselves for the expedition.

They were on Day Three of their six-day trip when the quake struck.

The 10 from Singapore who died were pupils Sonia Jhala, Rachel Ho, Peony Wee, Ameer Ryyan Mohd Adeed Sanjay, Emilie Giovanna Ramu, Karyl Matahom and Navdeep Singh Jaryal Raj Kumar; teachers Terrence Sebastian Loo Jian Liang and Mohammad Ghazi Mohamed; and Singapore adventure guide Muhammad Daanish Amran.

Sonia’s parents, who flew to Kota Kinabalu after the quake, recalled how their worst fears were confirmed when another parent showed them a picture taken at the rescue site with Sonia in it.

“That was when we knew she was no longer with us,” said Jhala, who is in the safety training business.

The family is slowly coming to terms that the baby of the family – Sonia was the youngest of three children – is gone.

“I don’t have any issues. I don’t have any remorse, I don’t have any regret, I don’t have any questions. I am not angry with God. I totally accept that she was done with her life and she’s gone. Now I am just coping with the actual routine and reality,” said Karen, 48, an administrative manager.

In order to move on, she returned to work two weeks after the quake.

“When we first had a memory of her, we ended up crying. Then we progressed to sighing over it, then smiling over her mischievous antics. Now we laugh over things she used to do,” she said. “It will take time but we are progressing.”

The support from friends, family and the entire nation has overwhelmed them but also gave them strength, she said, a sentiment that other families The Straits Times spoke to echoed.

“I think we had a sense of togetherness that we were all experiencing that same bereavement at the same time… so that gave us strength,” she said with quiet dignity.

Still, there were moments when the reality of losing Sonia would hit them hard. On a recent morning, their older children – Karishma, 19, and Dillen, 16 – were preparing to leave the house, and the couple, for a moment, were expecting Sonia to come out of her room.

They just sat and looked at each other, said Jhala. “The third one hasn’t come out yet. She’s not going to come.”

Luo Jin, whose daughter Peony Wee was one of the first victims to be identified, was inconsolable when the news first broke. She received a call from TKPS principal, Caroline Wu, at 3am on June 6, informing her of Peony’s death.

“It’s very unlikely that I can find release from the pain, I carried her for 10 months, and raised her for 12 years,” Luo, 40, said in Mandarin. “She used to come home and chatter about everything … I can still hear her beside me calling ‘ma, ma!’”

Peony had missed out on an earlier school trip to Taiwan, and really wanted to go for the Mount Kinabalu trip, said Luo, a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner.

“If I didn’t let her go, she would have had regrets,” said Luo, who also has a 14-year-old son and a one-year-old daughter. “She took Chinese medicine three times a day to convince me she was fit enough to climb the mountain.”

But Luo, too, has moved from sobs to finding solace in the memories of her child.

Scrolling through photos of Peony on her mobile phone with pride, she clearly cherished each memory of her daughter’s antics.

On Peony’s 12th birthday, they went for a steamboat meal, she shared.

“She was just starting to become more feminine. Watching her become a young woman, I was so happy,” she sighed.

Perhaps it was fate that her “little angel” was now in heaven with her best friends, she said.

One of her good friends, Rachel Ho, 12, also died in the quake.

Her father, James Ho, said he and his wife are still adjusting to life without their only daughter. The couple have two sons, aged seven and 15.

“We put all her teddy bears and her medals together by her bedside. With respect to the Chinese customs, we are not moving anything for 49 days,” said Ho, 45, a bank executive.

“More importantly we, or at least my wife, don’t believe in putting her things away. We want to keep it as it is for as long as we can.”

Some parents did talk about going back to Mount Kinabalu, he said, but there were no definite plans.

“We just want to let the families settle, get by the first few weeks first, and when life goes back to normal, then we can make concrete plans.”

The children who went through the traumatic experience were also trying to move on.

All of them – except for Prajesh Dhimant Patel who was still hospitalised but recovering from his injuries – went back to class on the first day of the new school term on June 29.

Some were still nursing their injuries, like pupil Jayden Francis, limping on crutches.

Many had to confront classrooms with a few empty seats, and dealing with the loss of their friends.

Some of the young survivors will need time before they overcome the horror of what they had witnessed on the mountain that morning of June 5 when the earthquake claimed a total of 18 lives.

Said Jayden: “I may get over this, maybe in 10 years’ time. Now, even for a million dollars, I’m not going back.”