Bonding with special needs children

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Evelyn Udtohan Perol

Deep sense of fulfilment and working together with concerned parents give educator the drive to persevere and keep on teaching at Milestone

THE children are the reason why Evelyn Udtohan Perol is still running the Pusat Jagaan Milestone Early Intervention – a private centre for children with special needs located in the residential area of Lorong Bayor Bukit 6, Tabuan Jaya in Kuching.

It is an expression of her caring love for students with developmental difficulties, whose lives she has impacted.

They were also the driving force behind her decision to register the school as her own about 11 years ago.

When her husband passed away four years ago, she almost gave up the centre, which was the fruit of their joint effort.

Again, it was the children who had pushed her to carry on and keep teaching. In caring for the children with special needs, she grew strength that made her what she is today – a resilient teacher.

In other words, she became strong for the children.

The centre, which had its beginning as a volunteer school in the church where Evelyn was attending, started as one of its charity projects to reach out to children with special needs in the local community.

Evelyn, who had been a long-time kindergarten teacher, was among a few who came to teach at the volunteer school when it started operations in 2001.

Evelyn with one of her pupils at the centre.

Genuine concern for the children

With proper training and support from organisations namely the Sarawak Society for Parents of Children with Special Needs (Pibakat) and Malaysian Care, a non-profit Christian non-governmental organisation (NGO), the school did well to help educate children with special needs, mainly those with autism, Down’s syndrome, dyslexia, speech delay and hyperactivity disorder.

For Evelyn, teaching the children gave her a deep sense of fulfilment. Their smiles, their pure innocence, their concerned parents – all of these made her want to be a part of the efforts in touching their lives.

She had to make a brave decision in 2009, when the school was poised to be closed following a church reshuffle. A group of church members had approached her and her husband, Buma George, and proposed that they should continue with what the church had started.

It was a proposition that she found hard to ignore, even though she did not have the means to accept it. For one thing, she had struck a bond with the children. Her heart also went out to the children’s parents, especially the mothers whom she often had heart-to-heart conversations with on matters concerning their special children.

“It broke my heart upon finding out that the school would come to a close. My two kids were still in secondary school at the time, while my husband was working at a private firm.

“If we were to start a private centre, we would have to tighten our belts even more. Even so, we still would not have sufficient funds to do it,” she recalled.

A ‘Milestone’ for teacher

Evelyn (third left) with her team of dedicated teachers at Pusat Jagaan Milestone Early Intervention.

It must be her genuine concern for the children that had prompted the church members to ask her to take over the school in the first place and emboldened her to take a leap of faith when she eventually agreed to take on the noble cause after serious thoughts.

With the support from her husband, who gave up his job for the cause, and with the little money they had, Evelyn successfully met all the government’s requirements, including the approval for the venue of the centre.

The church lent the centre its financial support throughout the first four months of operations.

When Milestone finally opened in 2010, she was elated to be reunited with some of her former students who had come to resume their classes, as much as she was excited to welcome new students.

As the name of the centre suggested, it was indeed a landmark year for Evelyn, the year she described as ‘God’s answer to my prayers’.

It was her Christian faith, she said, that gave her the courage to take up such a big responsibility.

“It is not what I can do, but what God can do through me.”

The reality was bigger than her dreams. While she always loved being a teacher – even being a Sunday school teacher made her happy – it had never occurred to her that she would run a centre for children with special needs.

“We started with one teacher, besides me, while my husband was in charge of the music lessons. As the number of students increased, we employed another teacher.

“All in all, we had around 20 students in the first year,” she reminisced.

Evelyn, who is from Leyte, an island in the Philippines, remembers vividly how she aspired to become a teacher. After completing high school, she left for Manila to pursue a Bachelor of Science and Elementary Education degree. However, after two years in university, her father was stricken with paralysis and could no longer afford her fees.

Consequently, she had to quit university and later, settled for a two-year secretarial course.

She came to know Buma while working in Manila. A talented Iban lad residing in Kuching, Buma was introduced to her by a friend via letter. After corresponding as pen pals for a period of three years, Buma went to Manila to meet her for the first time.

Their marriage the following year brought her to Sarawak, where she started pursuing her passion for teaching by volunteering at a Sunday school.

That little step would lead her to the founding of the Milestone Early Intervention Centre where she discovered what she had described as her ‘true calling’.

Challenging times after husband’s death

Today, it has been 12 years since the inception of Milestone.

Evelyn could not deny that there had been times when she felt like giving up.

One of those times was the untimely death of Buma, when the centre was reaching its sixth year.

Evelyn had to face the challenges of running the centre without him.

Three words rationalised her tenaciousness in upholding the school: “I Love Them.”

In this regard, she is referring to the special students.

The challenges of educating children with special needs are always there, but she takes them in stride with genuine love.

“Children with behavioural issues do not respond to the typical forms of care and discipline.

“All these are to be expected. When they have a meltdown, they would start screaming and throwing tantrums. Sometimes, they bite you, or pull your hair. There’re kids who want to climb the cupboard and so on.

“Such are the cases of children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and autism. Handling meltdowns in special needs children is one big challenge. We need to discern what trigger the meltdowns and discover ways to soothe them,” she explained.

“The conditions of the children differ from one to another, but they have the same needs. “Children with development delays learn to communicate through body languages.

“We need to interact in a loving way and spend quality time with them in order for them to develop better. I always tell my teachers to be patient and flexible with the children; to love them, hold them and get to know them better,” she added.

It would bring great happiness to Evelyn every time she sees some positive changes in the students.

“To see them being able to follow instructions or improving their social skills or just being able to sit down and listen to the teachers – all that gives me so much joy.”

The centre accepts students, aged between two to 18 years old.

They are divided into two sessions, according to their age groups and abilities. The majority of the children have been recommended by doctors from Sarawak General Hospital (SGH) as well as private therapists whom Evelyn is regularly in touch with.

She also receives students from play-schools who are found to have development delays.

 

Evelyn (fourth right) and Buma (second right) together with the teachers and some of the children posing in a photo-call with the Welfare, Community Wellbeing, Women, Family and Childhood Development Minister Dato Sri Fatimah Abdullah (third right), who made a visit to the centre just a few years after its inception.

Touched by students’ comforting words

Evelyn’s passion for the centre never wanes, despite having almost called it a day when her husband succumbed to lung cancer four years ago.

Not only had she lost a great husband, she had also lost a great working partner.

“Buma was my handyman, our musician and ‘the clown’ at the centre. The children were so attached to him. Until today, the older children still remember him.”

Buma’s untimely passing seemed to have dealt a big blow to Evelyn, in that it left her feeling like she could not run the centre without him.

The centre’s licence was about to expire on the day of his demise and she was unsure whether to renew it or not.

“The very thought of quitting made me cry because I loved the children. One of the students, who had been with me for many years, saw me cry that day.

“He came to me and asked: ‘Aunt Evelyn, are you alright?’

“Those caring little words from a special child suddenly awakened my conscience. It prompted the question: ‘What would happen to this child, if I quit?’” she said.

As she was still in mourning, an adolescent girl with Down’s syndrome wrote her a comforting message on Facebook.

This girl, whom Evelyn had taught from when the girl was two years old up until she was 12, wrote: “Don’t be sad, Aunt Evelyn; Uncle Buma has already gone back to Jesus.”

Evelyn was profoundly touched by the message.

With compassion and understanding in abundance, Evelyn remains true to her calling. Certainly, these virtues are rewarding in themselves. The children receive love, and just as they receive, they give.

Evelyn simply cannot ask for more.

“I’m very thankful for all the children. I don’t know what I would do without them. I can dance and sing and laugh with them. They’re such an inspiration. I’m also very thankful that I have a team of dedicated teachers.”

The Covid-19 pandemic has significantly brought interruptions and losses to many sectors, including education. Since the beginning of the pandemic, a number of her students have stopped coming, while others would be at the centre, on and off.

Initially, Milestone Early Intervention Centre had to be closed in line with the Movement Control Order (MCO) enforcement, but with the approval from the Health Department and also the Welfare Department, it is allowed to let in pupils whose parents are working as the frontliners throughout the MCO period.

Have faith in God

Evelyn is just thankful that the centre is able to survive in the face of hard times.

She feels moved when there are parents who still pay for the monthly fees, even when their children are having long breaks due to the pandemic.

“Honestly-speaking, we are struggling to survive at the moment. Still, we are hoping for the best and put our faith in God that He will provide.”

Her work of compassionate love has not gone unnoticed. She has earned the support of some generous individuals whose donations to the centre have given her the much-needed help to press on during these difficult times.

The story of Milestone Early Intervention Centre is a story of care and compassion – one that finds expression in the programme and activities for children with special needs.

It speaks volumes of tenacity of purpose, conviction and compassion that underline Evelyn’s journey as a teacher to these special children.

Like the diligent and passionate farmer, she takes unrelenting efforts to plant the seeds of hope for tomorrow in these children and nurture them with care and attention as they grow up.

For Evelyn, watching these children growing out of their inhibitions and taking each careful step to become useful young citizens ‘is a priceless joy’.
She would never trade her compassion-driven job for anything else in the world.