Esther Law Lee Poh
KUCHING: Most people feel compelled to coin up these things called the ‘new year resolutions’, but very few can actually follow them through.
“According to some studies, there is a 97 per cent failure rate,” said Esther Law Lee Poh.
With many titles coming after her name – First Chengmei Medical Group-China chief executive officer (CEO), Hainan Cancer Hospital executive vice president, and Excellence Medicare (EMIC) founder and chairperson – Law is an entrepreneur, educator and writer.
She has also, in her own way, cracked the baffling ‘New Year Resolution’ syndrome and made it work for her.
Speaking to thesundaypost at her office, she said there were similarities and differences between goals and resolutions.
“Resolutions and goals are very similar; they both represent things that we want to achieve. However, they differ on their effectiveness. Goals are considered to be the foundation stone of success, depending on your definition of success, whereas resolutions have, according to some studies, a 97 per cent failure rate.”
Law said the difference here lay in the structure or support system behind the desire to do or achieve something in the New Year, pointing out that resolutions typically did not have a thought-out support structure.
“Goals are typically part of a systematic thought process. In fact, goals are typically the surface of such a system, providing an ability to survive challenges which typically overwhelm resolutions.
“The typical resolution is usually powered by some form of unhappiness or dissatisfaction, whether the scales are tipping into unmentionable territory when you stand on it, or the figure in your bank account has fewer digits than you like.”
Law said while emotions were necessary for achievement, they stood as a poor force for significant change since emotions were typically short-lived.
On the other hand, goals – particularly the written one – were the product of a combination of emotion and logic, Law said.
“While emotion provides the power to accomplish a goal, logic creates a structure which harnesses that power and directs it towards effective action. Goals are the final result of a process, which makes goals much more likely to survive the challenges of life.”
“In short, if you want to change something about your life in 2017, don’t start from unhappiness. Start with a purpose. Better yet, figure out your life’s purpose. What is your life purpose? Why are you here, and why do you do what you do? Finding that purpose provides a much more permanent source of action than transient unhappiness,” she said.
Many books had been written about the subject of ‘life’s purpose’ but Law offered two quick-start tips.
“First – what makes you feel good about yourself? What do you do that satisfies you deep down inside?
“Second – what are you good at? What comes easy for you? By looking at these two areas, you begin to refine your life’s purpose. Once you have your life’s purpose, think about what your life would be like, what would you be doing, where you’ll be doing it, and who you’re working with.
“A visualisation of your purposeful life provides goals with a clarity often lacking in resolutions. Core values are also important and will imbue your goals with strength, and make it withstand challenges that will otherwise threaten failure or surrender.”
Law also encouraged people to think about why they were unhappy.
“Instead of focusing on the unhappiness, focus on what you want. If you feel you are overweight, focus on how you would look and feel if you were at a good weight. Use this vision to create the goal, and then use the goal to drive your actions.”
She also reminded everyone that they were unique, and the best possible goal that they could make would be to acknowledge and celebrate who they were right at this moment, and then to resolve towards being the better version of themselves than they had ever been before.
“Not to be different. Not to be someone else – just to be you.”
Law made a few suggestions for those to kickstart into becoming the new versions of themselves.
“Draw the future you. Imagine what it would be like if you were the future you at this moment. Notice the expression on your face, and experience how you would feel in your body. See the future you as having accomplished your goals. Experience yourself feeling proud, happy and confident. See people in your life responding favourably to you.”
According to Law, once you know the result that you have committed to, you must then know why you are doing what you are doing.
“You must know the purpose. Having that sense of real purpose – compelling reasons – will provide you with the necessary drive to make this result or outcome a reality.
“You must also develop an action plan. Break it down into smaller steps by month, week, and daily to-do lists. Actionable steps become manageable and doable.
“When you decide on your goal, set a flexible due date for it. If no date is set, it is not a goal. Goals always have due dates. If it’s important enough to be a goal, it’s very important that you know when the goal should be achieved by. After setting the flexible date, you need to identify and overcome obstacles.
“We need to look ahead and determine all of the internal and external obstacles that must be resolved in order for us to move forward and achieve the goal. Once the obstacles are identified, we must decide what actions we will take to resolve them.”
People would often forget this step, Law added.
“Without preparation or expectations, they will give up when faced with challenges.”
Law said like the main goal itself, these action steps also needed to be dated and must be completed to move forward. As new challenges arose, one should identify the obstacle, set and date the action step and go to work on it, she added.
Law also pointed out that while some people were self-motivators, others needed more cheering on.
“Many people make the changes on their own. If it’s been difficult for you, or if you find it hard to master motivation and self-discipline, it may be that an internal shift is required before anything external can permanently change.”
Knowing and practicing these principles had helped Law personally, giving her the peace of knowing where she would be heading with her life.
She mentioned life coach Anthony Robbins frequently, citing his ‘Results-oriented/Purpose-driven/Massive Action Plan’ (RPM) system, which helped tremendously in helping her focus on her goals.
“Last year, I wanted to lose five kilos, but it was quite hard and there was so much to do. I didn’t enjoy it.”
She said that once she focused on why she wanted to drop the kilogrammes rather than the number itself, things fell into place.
“Losing weight is the most common new year resolution that people make,” she said, adding that in the end, she dropped seven kilogrammes and checked that goal off her list.